Be the Mom You Want to Be
Lately, I have seen lots of judgment between moms and it really saddens me. I am so tired of women letting their insecurities cause them to shame other moms who do things differently than they do.
There is room for all kinds of moms. And just because you do things one way, doesn’t mean another way is wrong.
Yesterday, I read this article. After a few sentences, I was so frustrated. This mom was judging and publicly shaming another mom. Why? Because that mom made her kid a time capsule every year. Yep, she was trying to be a good mom and do a really nice thing for her child. She wanted to preserve memories for him.
It made me so sad for the mom being referenced. Here she was just trying to be a good mom and someone stepped in with their large platform and opened the door for her to be publicly judged, shamed and made fun of.
All the other moms who do things like that for their kids now have to question whether they are ruining their children. Really? Because they make them time capsules or memory books? How ridiculous.
In some ways, I agree with the woman who wrote the post. Yes, children shouldn’t be the center of our universe. They should play independently. We shouldn’t entertain them every minute of the day. Kids should be allowed to fail and deal with the consequences. We don’t need to hover over our kids or make every moment magical.
But who is to say that time-capsule mom isn’t letting her kid fail? Maybe her kid was outside playing while she worked on the time capsule? And you know what? Maybe she actually enjoys making time capsules. Maybe that is her hobby. It probably doesn’t stress her out because she enjoys doing it.
I am a former teacher who loves to teach, so I do lots of learning activities with my kids. I even have a whole blog dedicated to it. That does not mean that I am stressed out and just trying to one-up other moms by teaching my kids at home. I love it. It is a hobby for me.
Some moms are sports moms. Their kids are in lots of sports and they enjoy sitting on the side lines watching their kid and chatting with the other moms.
Some moms are crafty moms. They enjoy making fun crafts with their kids or scrapbooks for preserving memories.
Some moms spend their time cooking for their family. They enjoy making meals from scratch or baking their kids’ favorite treats frequently.
Some moms volunteer in their kid’s class. They like to see what goes on in the classroom and feel like they are making a difference in their child’s education.
Some moms like planning fun vacations for their family every summer. They enjoy going on fun adventures with their kids and exposing them to new places and cultures.
Some moms spend lots of time curled up on the couch with their kids and a pile of great books or favorite movies.
Some moms enjoy getting outside with their kids and biking, hiking or taking nature walks.
There are so many ways for moms to enjoy their children and make memories with them. There isn’t one right way to be a good mom. And just because your way seems stressful to me, doesn’t mean it is to you. You may actual thrive off of cooking, or crafting or volunteering.
Don’t let another mom make you feel bad about the way you serve your kids and family. You are doing what you love and your kids will only benefit from that.
Is it possible to put too much pressure on yourself and get stressed out, even when you normally enjoy doing something? Absolutely! That is just a sign that you may need a break or that you are, in fact, doing too much. There is a difference between doing one or two learning activities a day and feeling like you have to do activities all day long.
Kids do need balance in their lives. They do need to entertain themselves often. They should figure things out for themselves. They need to fail. But you can still do awesome things for your kids and keep that balance.
Be the mom you want to be. Don’t focus on being like the other mom’s on your street, in your family or on the internet. Be the mom you enjoy being and don’t feel bad if that offends another mom. That is her issue, not yours.
